Weekly Wisdom on Effectively Managing Change with M.J. Ryan
Contributing Expert and Career Success! Partner
Many of us feel that we can only be happy if other people say that we are worthwhile. We need others to tell us we did a good job or else we are afraid we haven’t. We need others to say we are special, that we matter. Now compliments and praise are nice, indeed wonderful. But if we must have validation from others in order to feel good about ourselves, we are in what Dawna Markova calls a spiritual emergency. It’s as if we’ve given the key to our safety deposit box that holds our life savings to someone else. We can’t access it ourselves; we have to go through them. What if they leave? What if they die, and we can’t find the key? What if they steal the box? We can never experience true inner peace and contentment because we’re always wondering if the person with the key is going to disappear.
Ultimately what matters is that you feel good about who you are and what you are doing. And that is independent of praise, money, or material success–any other external factor. It’s the quiet internal satisfaction that comes from knowing who you are and that you are contributing your best to the world.
Today, notice whether you look outside yourself for validation. If so, take a moment to remind yourself that what matters is that you feel good about yourself. Your safety deposit box–and all that’s precious about you–is yours alone.
Co-host, Career Success Radio Show
A leading authority on career success; 15-year executive coaching veteran
Contact: Andy@CRGLeaders.com, 239-285-5575
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